tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89281796353677014122024-03-14T02:22:52.800-04:00inspired by this confidence...never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. inspired by this confidence...Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10927306622991856571noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-20277046841067094172013-03-21T18:44:00.005-04:002013-03-21T18:44:42.892-04:00NEW BLOG<span style="font-size: large;">Dear friends,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Please find me over at <a href="http://maryctillotson.blogspot.com/">my new blog</a>. (<a href="http://maryctillotson.blogspot.com/">Click here</a>.)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">AMDG<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Mary</span>Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02788216116525862135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-23121544862758776142012-10-22T22:49:00.003-04:002012-10-22T22:49:31.728-04:00my terrible parentsWhen I was a kid, I sometimes thought I had terrible parents. We kids
walked to school, most days carrying sandwiches we'd made earlier that
morning. (Mom didn't make our lunch. She also never bought us
Lunchables. And we could only get hot lunch twice a week.) We had to
come home right after school, unless we had basketball practice, and we
weren't allowed to stop and play in the park. My mom taught us piano
lessons and made us practice, and we had to dress up for Mass every
Sunday. We didn't play on soccer teams, didn't watch much TV, didn't
swear, and didn't buy the cool toys the other kids had...<br />
<br />
Read more at <a href="http://maplefootprints.blogspot.com/2012/10/my-terrible-parents.html">Maple Footprints</a>. Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02788216116525862135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-59529583666051050172012-09-28T21:55:00.002-04:002012-10-11T11:04:01.658-04:00moving!Hey... I had thought about moving for a long time, but did some serious angsting over what the title of my new blog should be. Candidates were "First Obligation" (as in, "a journalist's first obligation is to the truth" from the elements of journalism) and "Five Rubles Forgotten" (a reference to Notes from Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky, the king of angst) and finally decided to go back to my old blog. Because that's, really, where I want to be.<br />
<br />
I'm going to be taking my favorite posts from here and moving them over there. And, at some point, I'll start writing!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Find me at <a href="http://maplefootprints.blogspot.com/">Maple Footprints</a>.</span>Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02788216116525862135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-50987479077499306122012-09-19T15:09:00.002-04:002012-09-19T15:10:24.640-04:00on condoms and confession<i>a version of this was posted on <a href="http://www.ignitumtoday.com/2012/09/10/on-condoms-and-confession/">Ignitum Today</a>.</i> <br />
<br />
Many of the pro-abstinence, anti-contraception types (mostly Catholics) will say that the “<i>Don’t have sex, but if you do, use contraception</i>”
approach to reducing teen pregnancy is inherently flawed. They’ll say
that the approach sets expectations low, and that it effectively says
“Don’t have sex – but if you do, it’s okay.”<br />
<br />
Of course, many of those same people march right into the
confessional once a month or so. They’ll tell the priest about their
spousal spats, their laziness, pride, envy, and lust. “<i>Don’t sin</i>,” they say, and then they’ll add that <i>“The Church, in her wisdom, knew we were going to sin anyway, so she gave us the sacrament of reconciliation.”</i><br />
<br />
That
translates: “Don’t sin, but if you do, go to confession” – so,
realistically, confession isn’t all that different from condoms.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.ignitumtoday.com/2012/09/10/on-condoms-and-confession/id-10057574-2/" rel="attachment wp-att-13638"><br /></a></div>
If that’s how we’re treating confession, we’re doing it wrong. The
purpose of condoms is to reduce the risk of consequences; the purpose of
confession is to change behavior and reform hearts. They’re different.<br />
<br />
<i>Note: Like anything sacramental, or anything Catholic, the
reality of it is incredibly deep and rich, so to all you protesters out
there – yes, there <b>is</b> more to it than that. But let’s stick with that much for now.</i><br />
<br />
If we’re not truly willing to change our behavior and allow our
hearts to be reformed, we are missing out on what God offers us through
the sacrament. Condoms give in to the belief that teenagers won’t be
responsible. Confession is a refusal to give up on greatness. And the
world needs greatness, needs saints, needs<i> </i>to see holy lives. And why not <i>our</i> lives?<br />
<blockquote>
“The ways of the Lord are not comfortable. But we were not created for comfort, but for greatness.” – Pope Benedict XVI</blockquote>
<b>How to Live a Good Confession</b><br />
Before confessing, make a good <a href="http://www.ncregister.com/info/confession_guide_for_adults/">examination of conscience</a>.
After examining, think seriously about your situation. Are you really
sorry for what you did? Consider how your life would be different now if
you had done the right thing then. Do you really wish you’d acted
differently? Or are you just intellectually aware that it was sinful?<br />
<br />
Then, do you want to stop doing this? Are you willing to work at it?
To stay on alert for temptation, and when it comes, to look it straight
in the eye and say <i>No, I will not!</i> And I don’t mean just now, but next week, too. Thursday. And again on Sunday.<br />
<br />
Ultimately, Catholicism is not about correct answers to “What did you
say?” or “What did you do?” but rather about “Where is your heart,
really?” Your words, actions, and attitudes reveal where your heart is; a
willful change in words, actions, and attitudes can move your heart.<br />
<br />
Like any sacrament, confession takes place at a particular moment in
time but carries forward; it’s a line in the sand after which things are
different. The important thing is the “after which” part, not the line.
Apologizing to your coach for skipping practice is a start, but getting
back on track, or back on the court, will actually make you a better
player.<br />
<br />
In the words of Bl. John XXIII…<br />
<blockquote>
“This must stop, once and for all … from now onwards, I will really be good!” (<i>Journal of a Soul,</i> 28 March 1898 entry.)</blockquote>
That’s the spirit! Don’t assume you’ll do the same thing again,
commit the same sins again. Raise the bar, and set your expectations
high. The line has been drawn. Things are different now. Confession is
not a condom; it is a refusal to give up. <i>I will not be a slave of sin!</i><br />
<br />
At the same time, be realistic. You know your weaknesses, so make a
plan. Sometimes priests give penances that directly combat the
weaknesses you’ve revealed to them. A priest I know told me he once
confessed impatience, and his confessor instructed him to find the
longest line at the grocery store, and when he got to the front, to get
out of line and find the next longest line – then he could pay for his
groceries. For a month. He hated it at first, but after a while learned
patience and actually enjoyed chatting with the people in line.<br />
<br />
If you aren’t this lucky, make your own plan. Learning patience at
the grocery store will make you more patient with your family; learning
discipline with your stomach’s appetite will make you more disciplined
with your other appetites.<br />
<br />
St. Francis de Sales recommends nipping temptation in the bud during
morning prayer. Think ahead to your plans for the day. What temptations
are you likely to face? How can you prepare yourself ahead of time to be
ready to face them? <i>I have a meeting with so-and-so today, and we
disagree about something, and I’m probably going to get angry over it.
Before the meeting, I will think of five things I honestly respect about
her, and consider how much God loves her.</i><br />
<br />
And, of course, constantly pray for God’s grace. Never stop. When we
empty ourselves of sin, we must fill up with His grace until we overflow
onto the world.Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02788216116525862135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-31925866678568825812012-09-04T18:37:00.001-04:002012-09-04T18:37:45.686-04:00chicken parmI've been talking to several friends about cooking for one or two - a lot of us are just out of college, either living on our own or newly married and living with just a husband. And most of us grew up with moms who cooked great meals for us and a healthy handful of siblings. How do you cook for one or two? How do you grocery shop for one or two? It's a whole different ballgame, and at times very frustrating. (What do you do with the bottom half of the can of pinto beans? How do you eat a decent meal at dinner time, not three hours after, when you come home hungry from work at 5?)<br />
<br />
So I'll share my experiences and invite all of you to share yours.<br />
<br />
Here's what I did this evening:<br />
<br />
1. Thaw a chicken breast.<br />
2. Put the chicken breast in a container (bag, pyrex, etc.) and add bread crumbs; shake till the chicken is covered.<br />
3. Add a gollop of spaghetti sauce.<br />
4. Spice it up! I usually get store-brand, boring spaghetti sauce and spice it how I like. This time I used pepper, garlic, basil, and rosemary.<br />
5. Bake at 350, covered, for 45 minutes.<br />
6. Pull it out and add cheese - I used grated mozzarella and parmesan.<br />
7. Bake for another 15 minutes.<br />
<br />
Here are some more things to try:<br />
1. Cut the chicken into smaller pieces. A whole breast was a little much for me. (Luke is working late tonight and wasn't home for dinner.)<br />
2. Throw the chicken on top of spaghetti.<br />
3. Spice it differently?<br />
<br />
<b>How would you alter this recipe? If you've tried it, what worked? What didn't?</b>Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02788216116525862135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-40140764055612101632012-08-28T19:41:00.000-04:002012-08-28T19:41:26.749-04:00radiance<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is beauty?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The philosophers say “id quod visum placet” – that which,
when seen, pleases. Beauty is complete, proportional, and radiant, they say.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s easy to see what completion and proportionality are. If
my left eye is missing or swollen out of proportion, I’m less beautiful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But what is radiance?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My mother knew. Not so many years ago when I was a child,
she read me the story of Cinderella from a picture book. She pointed to a
drawing of Cinderella in her rags helping the stepsisters, dressed in their
finery, on their way out the door to the ball. Cinderella, of course, was much
more beautiful than the stepsisters.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you know why?” my mother asked her melancholy daughter.
“It’s because she has a smile on her face.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked, and of course it was true.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe that’s what philosophers mean by “radiance,” that
elusive and undefinable characteristic of beauty – maybe they mean joy.</div>
Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02788216116525862135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-836246362463873572012-08-20T18:11:00.002-04:002012-08-20T18:11:28.266-04:00On Weddings and Elopements
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
Luke and I considered
eloping.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
Planning a wedding is hard
work, we found. Our decorations were relatively simple; my mom planned the
reception almost entirely; I gave the green light to my bridesmaids’ dresses
and let them decide on their own jewelry, shoes, and hair. Even so, Luke and I
were fighting for time to just hang out and be friends together, like we used
to when we were dating. What do we want for music? Readings? Have we
sufficiently included family members? Where can I find shoes?</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
On top of the work and
stress, I became increasingly frustrated with the wedding culture. I didn’t
know why I was supposed to be the star and center of attention that day. I
didn’t think everything needed to be perfect. I didn’t see why it was important
to register for four different types of wineglasses. I couldn’t figure out what
was up with this constant word “bliss” – wedded bliss, marital bliss, happily
ever after bliss. In most marriages I’ve seen, the living room is sometimes
messy, dinner requires work, lightbulbs burn out, cars need maintenance, and
children are born without great control over their own bodily fluids. I
wouldn’t attach the word “bliss” to any part of earthly reality, and marriage
is part of earthly reality. Wedding culture didn’t seem to have a great handle
on reality.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
Eloping was a way to escape
all that, maybe start our marriage off a little closer to reality. But I’m glad
we didn’t.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">First, I am not advocating large, grand celebrations that break the
bank and leave young couples with first-year salaries and student loans in
ridiculous amounts of debt.</b> We were fortunate to have parents who were able
and happy to fund the ceremony and celebration, and we let them. For those who
have tighter budgets or unhappy family members, it’s possible to work something
else out. I’ve heard of couples marrying during a regular Saturday vigil Mass,
the way you might see a baptism at a Sunday Mass. I’ve heard of couples
skipping the reception entirely, or having a small cake reception in the parish
hall. I am all for people spending within their means and having a celebration
that is reasonable, given what they have available.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Second, I am not advocating unnecessary worry about silly details.</b>
I was fortunate enough to have a mother, sister, and cousins who delighted in
making things look nice, so I mostly let them. Shortly after Luke proposed,
however, someone told me of a bride who was in tears over what kind of plates
would be used at her reception. Some things just don’t matter very much, and I
think a bride in tears over plates probably did not have the right focus.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
The wedding, my dad told me,
is a prelude to the marriage. It should be beautiful and joyful and holy, but
grounded in reality. In real life, not everything is perfect and not everything
runs smoothly, and we’ll be much happier if we can accept that. The wedding
should be that way, too.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
And we’re glad we chose to
invite a crowd to the church.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Wedding planning provided a helpful transition from dating to marriage.</b>
I noticed this first when we tried to register for kitchen knives. Kitchen
knives may not seem like a big deal, but our moms had different kitchen knife
practices (drawer vs block, differing acceptable levels of sharpness, etc.) and
we had to decide how we would do things in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">our</i>
kitchen. The same was true through much of the wedding planning – we can only
pick one entrance hymn, one gospel reading, one way of processing down the
aisle.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
When we were dating, we made
a point of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> making any decisions
of consequence together (“Should I take this job or that job?” Or even, “Should
I put the couch against this wall or that wall in my apartment?”) because our
lives were separate and it wasn’t healthy to think of them as together. Now
that we’re married, we barge into each other’s lives and make almost all our
decisions together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(“That coffee table
is free and exactly the right height for my art projects.” “But our living room
feels crammed already, and we don’t have room for a coffee table.”)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Planning the wedding helped us figure out how
to make those decisions together before they really mattered.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Also, my mom wanted to celebrate.</b> I complained frequently during
our preparation that “this isn’t that big of a deal; I don’t see what all the
fuss is about.” My poor mother. Her daughter was reaching a milestone in
growing up. She was welcoming a wonderful man into the family as her new son.
We were opening for her another avenue toward grandchildren. She wanted to tell
all her friends, and all my dad’s friends, and everyone she knew. I remember,
when my second brother married, my mom (who has two daughters besides me)
looked at me and said “I have five daughters.” She was thrilled. “Weddings are
the easiest way to get new daughters,” she said.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
And it’s only natural to
gather family to celebrate such an occasion.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Most importantly, however, marriage isn’t just for us.</b> It isn’t
even just for us and our children, if God so blesses us. It’s also for the
world. At our wedding, we stood in front of about 150 people, many of whom I
didn’t know, and vowed to love and honor each other all the days of our lives.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
If I pack up and leave, I’m
breaking a promise not just to Luke and to God, but to the rest of the world.
I’m failing in my life’s mission and harming society.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
If I neglect our kids and do
a terrible job raising them through my own fault, it’s not just bad for the
kids – it’s bad for the rest of society. If my kids become thieves, they might
steal <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">your</i> GPS. Or, worse, they might
hang out with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">your </i>kids and encourage
them in bad behavior.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
If I stay married to Luke but
treat him poorly and refuse to honor him, our children will grow up in a terrible
household. They will have a hard time learning what love is. Our sons won’t see
a need to treat women with respect, and our daughters won’t see a need to hold
out for good men.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
If family is the fundamental
building block of society, our wedding vows are a promise to that society that by
the grace of God we’ll hold up what we’re building; that we’ll keep this
building block strong and not let it collapse.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
Making our vows publicly
reminded us that our marriage isn’t just a life together, but a mission.</div>
Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02788216116525862135noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-66899535268369127862012-08-13T11:04:00.000-04:002012-08-13T13:52:50.208-04:00Mission: Perspective<i>A version of this article was published at </i><a href="http://www.ignitumtoday.com/2012/08/13/mission-perspective/">Ignitum Today</a><i>.</i> <br />
<br />
It’s interesting how different reality looks when it’s on paper, in
neat paragraphs, all in the right order. There, I am a powerhouse. I am
strong; I am adventurous; I am embarking on a mission with eternal
consequences and not looking back.<br />
<br />
But for all my talk of heroism and mission, I’m often tempted to throw in the towel, despair, and give up.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://inspiredbythisconfidence.blogspot.com/2012/03/marriage-and-mission.html">I wrote earlier</a>
about how marriage is a mission, and how Christian married couples, if
they shine as beacons of virtue, can take the world by storm and save
the world from its sexual dysfunction.<br />
<br />
But right now I don’t feel like taking the world by storm, or shining
as a beacon of virtue. I feel kind of sullen and selfish. I’m mad at my
husband (of just over a month) for asking me to leave the dishes for
him when he gets home from work. I’m mad at him for buying a stick shift
(the former bachelor thought it was manly) instead of an automatic. I’m
mad at him for owning four coffee makers when I don’t drink coffee and
our counter and cupboard space is cramped.<br />
<br />
And, after spending much of our engagement preaching loudly about how
stupid it is to expect a flawless wedding day, I’m still trying to
compose the perfect toast for the occasion, and trying to make myself
have given it.<br />
<br />
When I start writing, I start trying to take the world by storm
again. I start thinking I’m better than everyone else, as if putting
heroism and virtue into paragraphs was the same as living it. (I <i>am</i>
virtuous. You can tell because I’m happy. Admit it – I’m just oozing
with irresistible joy, and you’re about to convert because of it.)<br />
<br />
It isn’t enough to say these things. We must live them. And yes,
marriage is a mission, and it requires hard work and discipline, just
like marathons and Amazon explorations. But I’m on duty even when I’m
not feeling strong and adventurous.<br />
<br />
Some days I’m ready for a fistfight or wrestling match with whatever
power of evil would tempt me to love my dear husband less. Some days I’m
ready to climb mountains and soar. But some days I’m just tired.<br />
<br />
Some days I have a bad cold, or a stressful afternoon, or not enough
sleep last night. I’m a woman, and some days my hormones do weird
things. Some days I don’t feel like cooking, and some days we don’t have
leftovers. Sometimes my sense of adventure just has to wait.<br />
<br />
But I have to love anyway. My mission doesn’t change, even on days
when I’m just not feeling it. I don’t have to feel strong and powerful
in order to love deeply and steadily.<br />
<br />
Maybe instead of wielding a sword and forcing myself to <i>be happy, darnit</i>,
about the coffee makers, the stick shift, the offer to wash dishes, I
should just shrug and look the other way. I’m annoyed about some petty
things. Okay. I know that, in the past, I’ve laughed about the coffee
makers, felt proud at how far my stick-shift driving has come, and been
grateful for his offers to help with housework. Those were emotions,
too, and they’ll come back.<br />
<br />
I never promised to be passionate; I didn’t vow inexhaustible energy
or permanent cheer. When I’m not in the mood to deliver a powerful blow
to the enemy’s face, when all I can do is sigh and return to my work –
that’s what I must do. That’s my fidelity and commitment. That’s the
love and honor I <i>did</i> vow.<br />
<br />
And, for the days I don’t feel like doing anything heroic – that’s my job. And I can do that.Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02788216116525862135noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-40944027819310065212012-07-31T19:38:00.000-04:002012-08-01T09:10:50.588-04:00virtue is...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ah, beauty. We’re tempted to pluck a couple more eyebrow
hairs, worry about the color of our shirts, look in the mirror one more time.
Or, under the guise of being modest and counter-cultural, we don shapeless
denim jumpers, long skirts and tennis shoes, thwarting any glance that might
come our way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Either way, every other woman we see is more beautiful than
we are. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh, I want to be like her</i>, we
feel. We pretend we don’t care – beauty is vain and frivolous, and we are
mature women, not vain and frivolous women. Our own beauty doesn’t matter, we
tell ourselves. We’re above that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, but it does matter. And it’s impossible to shake this
desire because God gave us our beauty to cultivate, not to worry about or smother.
The world needs beauty, especially feminine beauty. As women, we have not just
permission but a mission to fill the world with beauty.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Beauty invites. Just try to walk past a sunset without
noticing, through a forest trail without wondering, into an art gallery without
pausing. Beauty beckons: “Come and see, and be at peace.” It lifts our minds
and hearts. It humbles us and takes us outside of ourselves.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doesn’t the world need this? Couldn’t the average American
stand to have his mind and heart lifted, to be humbled and taken outside of
himself?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A beautiful, virtuous woman unwittingly<span style="color: red;"> </span>proclaims “virtue is beautiful.” Her visible beauty
attracts beholders to the invisible beauty of virtue. It’s not a matter of “I
look great, and you’ll look like me if you do these certain things,” the empty
promise of many clothing and jewelry advertisements. It’s not about looking
better than other women or about the woman's body but rather Christ. A woman’s beauty invites, and if she
is virtuous, her life points to Christ. Sunsets and forest glades, while good,
can only vaguely point up. A life lived virtuously points squarely at God. Beauty
draws others into that life in Christ.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not one of us has a perfect body, and not one of us is
exempt from the belief that a different color here or different shape there
would improve things tremendously. But we have all been endowed undeservedly
with feminine beauty. Let’s accept this gift the way we want our own gifts
accepted by others – enjoyed and cultivated, not worried over or neglected. Let’s
stop fretting about our looks, an attitude that proclaims “virtue is uncertain,”
and instead gratefully accept the beauty God has given us. Let’s find clothes that
complement our bodies without overemphasizing our sexuality. Let’s get cute
haircuts, for pete’s sake. And let’s throw out the shapeless jumpers, the thoughtless
clothes that smother this gift of beauty and proclaim that virtue is frumpy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then let’s live in such a way that everything we do points
to Christ and magnifies him. Let our every action say “He that is mighty has
done great things for me, and holy is his name.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">All you who seek to
honor these doors, <br />
Marvel not at the gold and expense but at the <br />
Craftsmanship of the work. <br />
The noble work is bright, but, being nobly bright, the work <br />
Should brighten the minds, allowing them to travel through the lights <br />
To the true light, where Christ is the true door. <br />
The golden door defines how it is imminent in these things. <br />
The dull mind rises to the truth through material things, <br />
And is resurrected from its former submersion when the light is seen.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-from the door of the abbey of Saint-Denis</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xhrkG9SrchQ/UBhjY608PwI/AAAAAAAAAAo/xHQiPKrHLa0/s1600/Medieval+St+Denis+former+abbey+church+int+ambulatory.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xhrkG9SrchQ/UBhjY608PwI/AAAAAAAAAAo/xHQiPKrHLa0/s320/Medieval+St+Denis+former+abbey+church+int+ambulatory.jpg" width="259" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02788216116525862135noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-27795162556757505612012-05-25T16:20:00.004-04:002012-05-26T09:42:14.103-04:00shortcut parenting<div class="MsoNormal">
Why have we given up on our teenagers?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over and again, any time an abstinence-only sex education program is proposed for public schools, the response is “but
they’re going to have sex anyway, so we might as well teach them how to use
condoms. Fewer teens will get STDs and fewer teen girls will get pregnant.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a ridiculous argument. First of all, the Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report that <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/pdf/ss/ss5905.pdf">more than 60% of high schoolstudents are not sexually active</a>.
Sex is prevalent, yes, but it’s simply not true to say that “everyone’s doing
it.” Not everyone is. And I’m willing to bet a lot of money that the vast
majority of high school students who are not sexually active have not been
pregnant or responsible for a pregnancy and do not have any STDs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And kids really do learn from their parents. When kids are
young, most parents say things like “no, you can’t have that toy; your sister
is playing with it right now” and “you have to wait till after dinner to have a
cookie.” (Why not let them? Anyone who’s spent more than 10 minutes with
children will tell you they’re going to fight anyway.) When the kids get older,
many parents make sure their kids do their homework before they watch TV. They
make sure their kids do their assigned chores and that they don’t watch certain
movies. Kids learn these things.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not every parent does this, sure, but many parents do –
including many parents who say their teenagers “are going to have sex anyway.”
The Guttmacher Institute reports that the most common reason teens have for not
having sex is that it’s “<a href="http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html">against religion or morals</a>.” Those morals – not stealing,
not lying, doing homework – are almost always instilled by parents. There’s no
reason parents should just stop being parents when it comes to teaching their
kids about sex. The
only thing preventing parents from talking to their kids about sex is the
parents.<span class="MsoCommentReference"><span style="font-size: 8pt;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Know what you believe about what sexual activity is
appropriate, and tell your kids exactly what you expect and why. Chances are
you’ll do a better job teaching your kids what you want them to learn than will
a school funded by taxpayers who disagree on sex education. If you want your
kids to know how to use contraceptives, teach them. If you want your kids to
save sex for marriage, tell them and teach them why. Help your kid understand
the reasons for your expectations. Talk through ways of avoiding risky
situations and relationships. Teens who understand that their parents care are
likely to listen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many of my friends waited till they married or, if they are
not married, are currently waiting. Almost all of those (myself included) have
very involved parents – not obnoxious, not overbearing, but also not trying to
be our best friends or peers. They used their parental authority when we were
two and three to teach us not to take toys from our siblings, and while we
grew, they helped us grow; they explained, in an age-appropriate way, why they
taught us what they did. Their parental authority continued as long as we lived
in the house, but it evolved as we grew.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, even the best parents aren’t guaranteed that their
children will act as they’ve been taught. But parents, if they are involved and
help their teenagers understand their expectations – and if they actually
expect those expectations – have much more influence than they might think.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And teenagers are capable of much more than parents might
think. Figure 1: that 60%.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t give up.</div>Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10927306622991856571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-46355096388555795642012-03-17T22:09:00.002-04:002012-07-31T19:49:36.139-04:00marriage and mission<i>A version of this appeared on Catholic Exchange a few weeks after Luke and I married. Read the article <a href="http://catholicexchange.com/the-mission-of-marriage/">here</a>.</i> <br />
<br />
So your old roommate’s in seminary and your sister just made first vows, and you’re feeling a little guilty getting excited for your wedding. Marriage isn’t exactly a straightforward regimen toward holiness (you <span style="font-style: italic;">do </span>get to have sex, after all) and isn’t it the default life plan for the leftover people, the ones who didn’t make the vocational cut?<br />
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Not at all. If God has called you to the married life, he’s entrusted you with a serious mission. With one foot in the natural world and one in the supernatural – for Christian marriage is a natural state made supernatural by the grace of the sacrament – Christian married couples have a unique means to evangelization. Today’s world needs marriage – needs good Christian marriage – to stand as a sign of contradiction to the world and show the truth and beauty of the faith.<br />
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First, love. Everything is about love. Why did God create the world? Why did Christ die on the cross? Why did the martyrs suffer? What makes people saints? What is the greatest and most fundamental desire of the human heart? What is the whole point of everything? Love. Not the warm, fuzzy “luv” rooted in fickle hormones, but the hardcore, disciplined, self-sacrificing love that God is and asks of us. When people seek love, they naturally look to the opposite sex; often, they snuggle close and are left unfulfilled. Christian married couples give the world a concrete example of what real love looks like in a context where the world expects to find love: a relationship between a man and a woman.<br />
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Our world is obsessed with sex, and Christian married couples show that people are happier and more fulfilled with a sexually ordered life. The world says sex is a great means of exchanging pleasure (in which you hope not to exchange diseases). Christian marriage says sex is a great gift from God and has a purpose: to express a love deeper than any pleasure, and, if God wills, to let that love become incarnate in a child. Celibate religious show by their lives that joy doesn’t depend on sexual activity. Christian married couples show by their lives what sexual activity is for. Our world needs to see that, too.<br />
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Our world doesn’t like to be constrained by commitments; it considers them impediments to freedom. Christian married couples find freedom <span style="font-style: italic;">in</span> commitment. Christian spouses don’t worry that the back door may still be open; they are free to be themselves entirely and to give themselves completely to each other without worrying that the other might leave. Christian married couples show that commitment is a source of a deeper freedom: a freedom for excellence, a freedom from one’s own whims and inconstancies – and those of one’s spouse. Commitment prohibits sexual flings with the attractive co-worker. Commitment requires that spouses work out their disagreements. The sacrifice required to turn back to one’s spouse in love during times of temptation is tiny compared to the deep pain many spouses know from regret, betrayed trust, and divorce.<br />
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Our world assaults motherhood and children. The world speaks of pregnancy as a disease and a hormonally manipulated and malfunctioning reproductive system as a healthy one. Children are burdens and motherhood is a hassle you try to fit around your important work, the world says. Christian families affirm the value of motherhood and children. The Christian ethic that proclaims the sanctity of all human life, from conception till natural death, doesn’t stop at mere existence but proceeds to sanctity. Christian married couples welcome children and refuse contraception and abortion, but they don’t stop there. Christian parents devote their lives to the good of their children, attending to their physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological needs. Christian parents love. They don’t merely want their children to survive to adulthood and hold a job but to grow to adulthood as whole persons willing to give their whole selves when they find their vocation. Christian parents who are dedicated to their children work to fill the world with loving adults and, eventually, to fill heaven with saints. Christian parents show the world that children are gifts, not burdens.<br />
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Christian married couples can’t give the witness of wearing a cassock or habit in public. They can’t say Mass or hear confessions. They can’t spend all day feeding the poor, or studying and writing, or praying in a chapel. Priests and religious live another form of that hardcore, disciplined, self-sacrificing love – work essential to the life of the Church and the world, but work married couples can’t do. We need priests and religious to commit their lives to that work. But we need Christian married couples, too. A Christian marriage isn’t the same as everyone else’s marriage. Infused with the grace of the sacrament, Christian married couples can evangelize in a way that priests and religious can’t, giving a powerful example of authentic love exactly where the world expects to see it. In a unique and necessary way, Christian marriage affirms the existence of real love.<br />
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And isn’t love exactly what our world needs?Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10927306622991856571noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-37937451537518038332012-02-05T20:53:00.000-05:002012-02-05T20:54:47.217-05:00for the menDear Liberal Arts Men,<br /><br />There are lots of beautiful women on campus. Why aren’t you dating?<br /><br />Not a whole lot miffs and baffles liberal arts women more than the fact that good men don’t ask them out. In the words of a dear (female) friend of mine, “It’s not fair. They get to pick whoever they want. We can just put out bait and hope.”<br /><br />These women (and for a few years, I was one of them) befriend off-campus students so they can borrow their kitchens and feed you something better than cafeteria food. They sing while washing the dishes. They laugh at your jokes. As graduation approaches, they tell you that they’re looking at this or that type of job, but that what they’d really like to do is raise kids. They’re practically wearing signs that say “ask me out.” They’re waiting for you, and opening doors won’t cut it forever.<br /><br />You, liberal arts men, need to do your part. Take them to a dance. Take them to dinner. Start a relationship. Something. Dating is not a lifelong commitment. Asking a woman to a formal dance (and asking her to dance at the formal dance) is not a marriage proposal. An evening of conversation and dance is a fun thing to do with friends; a relationship is discerning marriage. Neither requires an irrevocable vow.<br /><br />That means you don’t have to finish discerning (and, Catholic men, you don’t have to 115% rule out the priesthood) before you ask her out. If you don’t ask her out because you’re only 80% sure you’d want someone like her helping you raise children, then you’re really not asking her out because you’re scared. Ask her out, then talk about the other 20% (and the 80%) while you’re dating. Share ideas and see if you reach the same conclusions on the important things. That’s what dating is for. That’s not what pre-asking-out-analysis is for. Be discerning before you ask her out, but not scrupulous – there’s way more to her than you’ll find out while “just friends.”<br /><br />Most liberal arts women want to be stay-at-home-moms and they want men like you to marry them so they can. They want men like you because you’re responsible, because you’re funny, because you’re clean, because you’re trustworthy, because you’re strong. Generally, people discern their vocation to marriage by dating and generally, people don’t marry without dating. Liberal arts women know that after leaving the little bubble of [name of little conservative liberal arts college] and enter the great sea of secularism, they are much less likely to find a man they would trust their future children with, unless they land a job at the pro-life think tank down the street. (And you’re much less likely to find such a woman after you graduate.) You have a responsibility to give these women a chance at marriage to a real man, a good, virtuous man who goes to their church. Ask them out. You’ll find out way more about her than you knew before – and you might find that you want to marry her. Or that you don’t. But if you’re already 80% sure you do want to marry her, it’s time to take the next step in your discernment.<br /><br />Yes, it’s scary asking them out. You know what else is scary? Childbirth. So we’re even. Ask her out already.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br />Mary (and Luke, who asked)Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10927306622991856571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-18375954272833782152012-02-04T13:47:00.002-05:002012-02-04T13:54:15.815-05:00Hearing God's Voice<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> 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locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Dear M.,<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’m glad you keep asking questions like these. Those are the questions I was asking in high school, and I was really frustrated that nobody would give me answers to them. I imagine more questions like these will come up, and when they do, I want you to remember two things:</p> <p class="MsoNormal">1. Learn what the Church teaches on the subject. If you don’t know, look it up: in the Catechism, on catholic.com, asking someone who knows the faith well. Remember that you’re looking for “what the Church teaches,” not someone’s opinion. Different people have different opinions, and when you’re after truth, you want something consistent and actually true. The Catholic Encyclopedia at newadvent.org is also a good resource, but can be hard to follow sometimes. Anything by Catholic Answers or EWTN is good, and I also recommend the Archdiocese of Washington blog.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">2. Know that the Church does have answers. If you haven’t found an answer that satisfies you, that really answers your question, keep looking, and don’t give up.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now, on to prayer. You asked how to know if you’re hearing God’s voice or just your own voice in your head. I’ll do my best to answer your question – but again, if I don’t answer it well enough, ask.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I remember reading a thing on prayer geared toward teens, and it said that prayer is like IMing God. I was really upset. That’s not helpful at all, and it isn’t really true. I guess prayer and IMing are both communication between two persons, but as far as communication goes, they’re not really very similar. Prayer is lifting up your heart and mind to God.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">First off, when you’re praying, don’t expect to hear an actual voice with your ears, and don’t expect to have the right answer pop into your heart or mind in a clear, obvious way. If this happens, especially if you hear an actual voice, talk to a priest. But this doesn’t normally happen.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">God does call some great saints to do radical things. St. Francis of Assisi gave up all his worldly possessions and founded a religious order. St. Catherine of Siena wrote letters to the pope telling him to get his act together. St. Joan of Arc left the farm and led the French army to battle. This is really great, but it’s not normal. While God does want us to love Him and obey Him with our whole heart, usually He wants us to do so in our “state of life” – for you, that means as a student, friend, daughter, sister. Later, it may mean as an orthodontist, or as a wife and mother, or whatever. If you do think God is calling you to something like particularly radical, talk to a priest.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Prayer builds our relationship with God, and remember that relationships are built over time. Think of some of your closest friends, and think about how your relationships are different now than they were when you first met. How did that happen? It was time spent together – time spent chatting, playing with each other’s hair, carpooling, studying together, spending the night at each other’s houses, all the stuff of friendship. When you spend time together, your relationship grows, and you don’t always notice it growing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the same way, our relationship with God is built during the time we spend with Him – in prayer, especially in front of the Blessed Sacrament. In some ways we have to put more effort into our relationship with Him than our relationship with regular people – we can’t just chat on the phone with Him, or have Him over to commiserate over exams, or paint His toenails. Much of the “stuff of friendship” we can’t really do with Him, because although He is present, He is present in a very different way. This is where prayer comes in. Part of prayer is just spending time with Him to build that relationship.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This may mean reading the Bible, saying the Rosary, or kneeling before Mass and turning over in our minds and hearts what all these things mean. While saying Rosary, we meditate on the various mysteries; maybe while mediating on the Annunciation, we can think about our Lady’s words: “Be it done to me according to Thy will.” Perhaps she understood how great an honor it was to bear the Son of God, but her life wasn’t all easy. She had to figure out how to deal with being pregnant before she married Joseph (“an angel appeared to me and my son is the Son of God” isn’t an explanation that would satisfy my parents if I got pregnant before I married). And after giving birth to her Son and raising Him, she watched Him be condemned to death, beaten, and crucified. That couldn’t have been easy, but she accepted all of that when the angel appeared to her and she said “Be it done unto me according to Thy will.” She knew that she would suffer, and she knew that in the end God would reward her for her faith in Him. And now she is queen of heaven.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In prayer, read a section from the Bible or think on the mysteries of the Rosary, and let your thoughts go further. What does this really mean? What would this have really been like? What does that mean for me? (Is my heart as open to God’s will as our Lady’s heart?)</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Part of prayer is asking God for guidance. This is when the “listening” comes in, when we try to hear God’s voice. First, we have to be patient. God doesn’t usually tell us everything all at once. We have to keep coming back, keep praying, keep asking. Second, we have to open our hearts to His will. The answer He gives us might not be the one we want, and it might involve suffering. Are we open to that? Are we willing to accept whatever God asks of us, as our Lady did? This takes practice.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Given that, I’ll give you some ways to help discern whether you’re hearing God’s voice or not. The closer you are to God and the deeper your relationship with Him, the more quickly you’ll recognize His voice. Here are some ways to start:</p><p class="MsoNormal">St. Francis de Sales said “No thoughts which cause us disquiet and agitation come from God who is Prince of Peace; they are, rather, temptations of the enemy, and therefore we must reject them and take no notice of them.” If, on the deepest level, you feel angsty and conflicted about what you think might be God’s will, it probably isn’t God’s will. God may require us to make sacrifices. But on the deepest level, doing His will brings joy and peace.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">St. Joan of Arc said “All I know about Christ and His Church is that they’re the same thing, and we shouldn’t complicate the matter.” The Church teaches some specific things about morality: lying is wrong, envy is wrong, murder is wrong, etc. In addition, the Church teaches some specific things about virtue: love is good, patience is good, courage is good. The Church is the Bride of Christ, and in a good marriage, both parents are on the same page about what they teach their children. God won’t tell you to do something that the Church teaches is morally wrong. If you think you are hearing God tell you to lie, that’s not God’s voice.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">God has already told us the basics. When asked about the most important commandment, Jesus said to love God with your whole self, and, second, to love your neighbor as yourself. We know that God is always calling us to love more deeply, more purely, less selfishly. When you are unsure what to do in a particular situation, think about the most loving thing to do, and ask God to guide your thoughts and lead you closer to Him.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I wish I could give you a clear-cut method so you would always know whether you’re hearing God’s voice or something else. But God isn’t a system or a computer; God is a Person (or rather, three Persons) who love deeply. And he <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">will</i> help, as long as you ask and persevere in your asking.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">AMDG (ad majorem Dei gloriam – for the greater glory of God)</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Mary</p>Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10927306622991856571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-78159279603550302722012-02-03T21:13:00.000-05:002012-02-03T21:14:33.775-05:00Intro to Contraception<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:targetscreensize>800x600</o:TargetScreenSize> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> 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</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">Dear high school students,<br /><br />I’m sure you’ve all seen on the news about the federal contraception mandate and the Catholic uproar over it. You can read on the news what happened and how Catholics are reacting. I want you to understand why contraception is such a big deal.<br /><br />We’ve talked before about how doing things God’s way is good for you. That’s true about sex and contraception, too.<br /><br />God designed sex to be amazing. He designed sex to be a way for spouses to give themselves completely to each other, to strengthen their commitment to each other, and to produce children. When they express their love for each other this way, that love may become a child. And that’s beautiful. Sex allows married couples to participate in God’s love and in his creation.<br /><br />Our culture today accepts all sorts of things that violate the sanctity of marriage and sexuality. One of these is contraception. Contraceptive sex is sex on our terms, not on God’s terms. Contraceptive sex says “I want the<i> </i>pleasure right now, but I don’t want the responsibility of raising children.” Contraceptive sex cannot be an act of total self-giving and isn’t an act of love -- remember, God designed sex to be an act of love. Contraceptive sex is using the other person for sexual pleasure.<br /><br />God designed our bodies to work a certain way, and contraception interferes with that. Our bodies are naturally fertile. It’s healthy to be fertile. Advocates of contraception speak as if fertility (especially women’s fertility) were a defect and as if pregnancy were a disease. It’s not. Having a functioning reproductive system is just as healthy as having a functioning digestive system or a functioning respiratory system. God made our bodies to work a certain way, and it’s good and healthy when our bodies work the way God designed them.<br /><br />The Catholic Church does <i>not </i>teach that once you’re married, you have to have sex all the time and have as many babies as your body can handle. We all know that sex can naturally result in children. But it doesn’t always. That’s because women’s bodies are designed to have fertile cycles -- there are only a few days per month when it’s possible for a woman to get pregnant. When a couple has sex during a time when the woman is naturally infertile, she can’t get pregnant. It’s possible (and, actually, not that hard) to learn how to tell when a woman is naturally fertile or infertile, and if a couple has a good reason to postpone a pregnancy, they can abstain from having sex when the woman is fertile. God designed women’s bodies to go through these cycles naturally. He also designed our brains so we can learn how to do this. The Catholic Church teaches that couples must be open to having children, but if there are times in their marriage when having a child seems unwise, they are permitted to abstain from sex during fertile times to postpone pregnancy. This is called Natural Family Planning, and you can find more about it at www.ccli.org.<br /><br />NFP isn’t just another form of contraception. By having contraceptive sex, the couple abuses the sanctity of marriage and sex. By not having sex during fertile times, a couple is simply not having sex. With contraception, the couple does not want children. With NFP, the couple thinks that, because of their circumstances, it’s unwise to have children right now, but they are open to life. With any method of contraception or with NFP, there can be surprise pregnancies. With contraception, surprise pregnancies are called “mistakes” or “failures.” With NFP, surprise pregnancies are called “children.”<br /><br />That’s the Church’s teaching in a nutshell. If you have more questions, let me know and I will be happy to answer them.<br /><br />Here’s a little more information on contraception and NFP:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list .5in"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">●<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">Many people think that NFP is not effective at preventing pregnancy. That’s not actually true. A 2007 study showed that NFP is 99.6% effective when used properly.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list .5in"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">●<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">NFP couples have healthier marriages and almost never divorce.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list .5in"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">●<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">Side-effects of chemical contraceptives (including the birth control pill) include nausea, vomiting, weight gain, and infertility. NFP doesn’t have any side effects, and when you’re ready to have children, you don’t have problems with infertility.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list .5in"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">●<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">NFP doesn’t cost any money. You need a thermometer, and you need to be able to stick it under your tongue. And you need a pencil, so you can record your information. Birth control pills can cost $15 to $50 a month, according to Planned Parenthood.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list .5in"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">●<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">NFP is better for the environment. We all know that it’s bad to put chemicals in food and let chemicals drain into our lakes and rivers. Why would we put chemicals in our bodies (and let them drain into our lakes and rivers) if we don’t need to?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops:list .5in"><span style="font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">●<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">When the inventors of the birth control pill were testing the pill on women, three women died. They didn’t bother investigating whether the pill caused their deaths.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia"><br />Women, don’t let our culture tell you that pregnancy is a disease or that your fertility is a problem. Men don’t take pills or use chemicals to interfere with how their bodies work naturally - why should we? Fertility is good and healthy, and motherhood is a beautiful thing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Save sex for when you’re married, and if you marry, be open to life. Here is a quote from Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty:<br /><br />“The most important person on earth is a mother. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral - a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby’s body. The angels have not been blessed with such a grace. They cannot share in God’s creative miracle to bring new saints to heaven. Only a human mother can. Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creature. God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation. What on God’s good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother?”<br /><br />AMDG<br />Mary<br /><br />PS Luke wrote something for the guys:<br /><br /><br />Guys,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">Contraception is unmanly. I’m not going to tell you it’s bad, because that’s what the rest of this letter is for. I’m going to tell you why it’s unmanly. As men, we have a special duty to take care of women. So if there’s one thing that men (real men, that is) don’t do, it’s take advantage of women.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">It takes two to have a baby. And the way God designed things, it takes two not to have a baby. Mary explained how this works in the section about NFP. Both people have to do their part. Basically every kind of contraception (except condoms) works by messing up how women’s bodies work so that they’re not fertile. So instead of it taking two, contraception makes women do all the work.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">Again, if there’s one thing that men don't do, it’s take advantage of women. If we’re not willing to abstain for a few days per month so that women don’t have to pump a bunch of chemicals into their bodies, then we’re not taking care of women, we’re taking advantage of them. We’re saying to them “I want to have sex whenever I want, so mess up your body so I don’t have to abstain.” If you're not married, you shouldn't be having sex in the first place. If you are married and there’s a good reason not to have a baby, do things the right way and do your part.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">Be a man.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">Luke<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia">P.S. And ladies, don’t settle for men who don’t live up to this.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;mso-bidi-font-family:Georgia"> </span></p>Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10927306622991856571noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-81470921315844937252011-12-07T20:42:00.002-05:002011-12-07T20:50:05.167-05:00Dear M.Dear M.,<br /><br />I wanted to make sure I answered your questions about hell and judgment, but I ended up not getting this done for last Wednesday (11/9). So it’s late, but anyway, here it is.<br /><br />I don’t know if I’ll remember all your questions – if I don’t get to them all, or if you have more questions, ask me or C.M. or anyone who know the faith. These aren’t my answers; they’re the Church’s answers. And again, if you can figure out how to navigate it, catholic.com is a great resource.<br /><br />You asked why hell is permanent. The short answer is that hell is permanent for the same reason heaven is permanent. Life on earth is temporary; life after death is eternal (except, of course, for Purgatory, which prepares us for an eternal heaven). Our lives here are preparation for eternity.<br /><br />It’s important to remember that God doesn’t send anyone to hell and he doesn’t want anyone to go to hell, but he does permit us to go to hell if we choose it. We choose hell by rejecting God and not repenting of it. We choose hell by committing mortal sins and not repenting of them. A person who commits a mortal sin and dies without repenting (going to confession or having perfect contrition) goes directly to hell.<br /><br />Imagine you have a friend who had a really horrible day, couldn’t sleep all night and just got a test back with a horrible grade and is trying to figure out how to tell her parents. The two of you are talking, and she snaps at you over something little. You will probably be hurt but won’t find it too hard to forgive her. Now, let’s say you have another friend who breaks into your house and kills your parents. That’s probably going to completely destroy your relationship with her.<br /><br />That’s kind of how things work with God. We are all sinners, but some sins are so serious they completely destroy our relationship with God. These are mortal sins. It’s not possible to commit a mortal sin by accident: for it to be a mortal sin, it has to be a grave matter (something serious), you have to know fully what you’re doing and you have to fully will it. If you were forced or seriously pressured into it, or if you honestly had no clue that it was wrong, in that situation it may only be a venial sin. But just because it’s not possible to commit a mortal sin by accident doesn’t mean it’s not possible to commit a mortal sin. It is possible, and those who commit a mortal sin and die without repairing their relationship with God (i.e. going to confession) go directly to hell. God doesn’t want people to go to hell, but if they choose it, he respects their choice.<br /><br />God is forgiving, of course, and will forgive us for any sin we commit, provided we repent and turn back to Him. He understands our weakness, but it’s not enough to say “oh, well, I’m human, and I’m weak, so it’s okay if I don’t bother trying to be good.” Our human weakness doesn’t mean sin is permissible, it just means that sin is likely. God’s forgiveness doesn’t mean He just ignores everything we do wrong, but that He will help us back up when we fall, if we ask. God calls us to be holy, to grow in virtue, and to grow closer to Him. We will never complete that task on earth, and we’re going to keep messing up, but we have to keep working at it. God knows that we’re going to fail sometimes, and that’s why He gave us the sacrament of confession. He knew we would fall, so He gave us a way of getting back up. He wants us back. He loves us, and – don’t you want to be close to the people you love?<br /><br />If we choose heaven (and remember, we choose this by doing what’s right, going to confession when we sin, and growing closer to God), then when we die, God will welcome us into heaven where we will be with Him and the angels and saints for eternity. If we choose hell (we choose this by rejecting God, by committing mortal sin and not repenting of it), that’s the choice we made. God will always respect the free will He gave us; he won’t force Himself on us if we reject Him. But if we ask for His help in growing closer to Him, He will give us all the help we ask for.<br /><br />At the end of our earthly lives, God judges us and decides whether we go to heaven or hell. He doesn’t pick and choose arbitrarily who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. He sees into our hearts and looks at our lives and the decisions we’ve made. He knows, for example, how you treated your parents during your life. Maybe He will see a time when you were impatient with them. Maybe that time you just flat-out wanted to be selfish, or maybe you had a horrible time trying to sleep the night before and were also really stressed about an exam. He will take all these things into consideration, and He will judge with justice and mercy.<br /><br />I think that answers your questions, but if it doesn’t, or if it brings up new ones, then ask. (I actually really love answering these questions, so don’t hesitate!)<br /><br />AMDG<br /><br />MaryMary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10927306622991856571noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-43984418852229859842011-02-01T16:50:00.002-05:002011-02-01T16:53:57.183-05:00snow!"There is no such thing as bad weather. All weather is good because it is God's." -St. Teresa of Avila<br /><br />I'm not really sure what to do with the childlike giddiness dancing inside of me. It's snowing; big flakes are falling and we're supposed to get up to 20 inches in the next 24 hours.<br /><br />I paced. I shoveled. I ran out to my car to see if I left my bag there. Now I'm blasting Brahms and watching out the window.<br /><br />God is so good.<br /><em></em>Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10927306622991856571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-74307930708914587232010-08-02T16:55:00.011-04:002010-08-02T17:22:07.613-04:00Catholic Eye-Candy<div style="text-align: left;">In these dark decadent days when stomach-turning blasphemy parades as "art," it is refreshing to discover that not all contemporary art is bad. Behold, I give you three artists whose work you should check out:</div><div><div><div><br /></div><div>1) <a href="http://www.studiobrien.com/">Michael O'Brien</a> (Canadian painter and writer)</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre">Jesus and His Mother</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 398px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qCwB-r2fNRo/TFc2BDY3OpI/AAAAAAAAABY/xKoWAfWw-Mk/s400/phoca_thumb_l_20080922_1039971297_jesus_and_his_mother.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500924861573708434" /><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"></span>Divine Mercy</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 192px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qCwB-r2fNRo/TFc2TgXA1EI/AAAAAAAAABg/IopXFPtsIe0/s400/phoca_thumb_l_20081028_1654317959_divine-mercy.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500925178588222530" /></div><div><br /></div><div>2) <a href="http://matthewalderman.com/Home_Page.html">Matthew Alderman</a> (ND grad of <i><a href="http://holywhapping.blogspot.com/">Shrine of the Holy Whapping</a></i> fame)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">Verbum Caro Factum Est </div><div><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 262px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qCwB-r2fNRo/TFc1gPI5L-I/AAAAAAAAABQ/rj0-FyKV-Lo/s400/35571_131270313561174_130222116999327_219237_1363242_n.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500924297792270306" /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">St. Michael</div><div><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 265px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qCwB-r2fNRo/TFc1OP4If3I/AAAAAAAAABI/SBNCjRja0_0/s400/35571_131270300227842_130222116999327_219235_2346750_n.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500923988752760690" /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>3) <a href="http://www.danielmitsui.com/">Daniel Mitsui</a> (h/t to <a href="http://www.insidecatholic.com/myblog/holy-st.-michael-batman.html">Inside Catholic</a> for linking to this Chicago artist)</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Crucifixion (see <a href="http://www.danielmitsui.com/artwork/crucifixion.html">here</a> for an explanation of the symbols)</div></div></div><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 296px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qCwB-r2fNRo/TFczd8fPHCI/AAAAAAAAAA4/VFCKWa-TS1k/s400/crucifixion_blog0.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500922059402714146" /><div style="text-align: center;">St. Michael (commissioned to imitate Japanese art)</div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qCwB-r2fNRo/TFczs_g2g4I/AAAAAAAAABA/OFtCsnFHFXE/s1600/mirigo_blog.jpg"></a><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qCwB-r2fNRo/TFczs_g2g4I/AAAAAAAAABA/OFtCsnFHFXE/s1600/mirigo_blog.jpg" style="text-decoration: none;"><img style="text-align: center;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 400px; " src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qCwB-r2fNRo/TFczs_g2g4I/AAAAAAAAABA/OFtCsnFHFXE/s400/mirigo_blog.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500922317912834946" /></a><div><div><br /></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-41706146299553904842010-07-28T21:06:00.004-04:002011-12-07T20:50:52.492-05:00Book Review: The Loser LettersMary Eberstadt's new book, <span style="font-style: italic;">The Loser Letters: A Comic Tale of Life, Death, and Atheism<span style="font-style: italic;">, </span></span>has been receiving a great deal of Catholic media attention, and for good reason. This clever satire, in the style of Lewis' <span style="font-style: italic;">The Screwtape Letters</span>, creatively addresses the New Atheists' many flawed arguments about Christianity.<br /><br />The book contains a series of ten letters written by A.F. (A Former) Christian to her new "BFFs": Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and the rest of the new atheist gang. A recent convert to atheism, she is eager to share her inside knowledge about how the "Dulls" (her name for believers, taken from the atheists' use of "Brights" in reference to themselves) really view the religious world. With incredibly well-meant criticism, A.F. points out the numerous problems with the New Atheists' arguments, including everything from those about sex ("when we Atheists say with a straight face that deep-sixing the old sex rules will make everybody happy, we're dissing the experience of most people . . . under the age of fifty") to those about good works ("it's not as if hospitals and soup kitchens abound in our inner cities in Darwin's name"). Her arguments are simple, factual, and thought-provoking, but it is only when they are combined with the fictional element of the story, A.F.'s personal history, that the book becomes truly compelling. As the letters unfold, A.F. gradually reveals the heartbreaking circumstances under which she left the Church, and it is this tragedy that makes <span style="font-style: italic;">The Loser Letters</span> an ironic testimony to the harmful effects of atheism's hold on humanity.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Loser Letters </span>is everything the critics describe it as. It is clever, witty, funny, and at times, poignant. As a reader, however, I have two major criticisms. First, the narrator's language, intended to reinforce A.F.'s youth, ends up being a distraction. Her use of modern slang, although often amusing and important for character development, is excessive and I sometimes found myself backtracking to reread and "translate" passages. My second criticism is similar: Many of the references in the book rely on knowledge of current pop culture, which, again, contributes to character development and overall humor, but in the end will serve to severely date the story. For example, Eberstadt makes several references to Paula Abdul and <span style="font-style: italic;">American Idol</span>. Readers today may understand, but ten years from now? Probably not.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Loser Letters</span> is well-worth the read for its logical arguments, brilliant use of satire and irony, wonderful humor, and emotional (but not sentimental) plot line. Unfortunately, the overdone modern references and slang prevent this book from ever being a timeless classic like <span style="font-style: italic;">The Screwtape Letters.</span> All in all, I recommend buying a copy and sharing it among friends.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-67048585795694144272010-06-28T21:33:00.002-04:002010-06-28T21:45:47.734-04:00the least of my peopleI've been trying to figure out what to do with panhandlers and people who ask for money. It's absolutely wrong to brush by and ignore them (cf. <a href="http://www.newadvent.org/bible/mat025.htm">Mt. 25:31</a> ff), but handing over $5 probably means enabling an addiction or bad habit, and that's also wrong. Some people say "take them out to lunch" but most times I honestly don't have time for that. (Plus it can't really help that much.) Some people tell me "you're in college and you don't really have extra money" but cf. <a href="http://www.newadvent.org/bible/mar012.htm">Mark 12:41</a> ff.<br /><br />Here's the thing, though. My time isn't really "my" time -- I've already pledged it to my employer. Maybe feeding the hungry is objectively more important than the particular task I've been assigned, but I owe to my employer that I obey him and that I give him the time I promised to give him. If he sends me on an assignment, I have to do that assignment (unless it's specifically immoral). So no, I really, actually don't have time to take someone out to lunch because the time isn't mine anymore.<br /><br />Same with money. I owe it to my parents to finish college, and I actually do need to buy my textbooks. Maybe feeding the hungry is more important than memorizing declension patterns, but that isn't my decision to make. It isn't "my" time that I spend studying, and it isn't "my" money I'm spending on books. I owe it to my parents to buy my books, and therefore the money isn't mine to give away.<br /><br />I think the best thing to do is to know where these people can get help, and smile and point it out to them. "Sorry, ma'am, I can't actually give you any money, but if you go to [street] and [street], the people there can help you" or "Sir, I can't give you any money, but here's the phone number of [whatever mission]. Give them a call; they should be able to help you."<br /><br />A man holding his hat out is still a man and we ought to treat him as such. But we should also recognize (with humility) that we are human and limited in what we can do. I can't solve all the world's problems; I can't solve all this man's problems. But I can point him to people who can help.Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10927306622991856571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-77588491422546617962010-06-24T15:21:00.003-04:002010-06-24T15:26:15.079-04:00YikesFrom <a href="http://abbey-roads.blogspot.com/">Abbey-Roads</a>, via <a href="http://thecrescat.blogspot.com/">The Crescat</a>:<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(204, 204, 204); "><div class="post-body entry-content" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; line-height: 1.6em; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"></span></div><blockquote><div class="post-body entry-content" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; line-height: 1.6em; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">What if you were the reason a person refused to come back to Christ? What if your self-righteous, judgmental, dogmatic, theologically correct attitude repelled a soul from accepting Church teaching, from reconciling with the Church, from faith itself? What if they were just on the edge of conversion and one of your contemptuous sneers, caustic remarks, or hostile snubs drove them away? That is one aspect of what Jesus is talking about when he warned against "scandalizing one of these little ones".</span></span></span></div></blockquote><div class="post-footer" style="margin-top: 0.75em; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(61, 129, 238); text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 0.1em; font: normal normal normal 78%/normal 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 1.4em; "></div></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-67660690855458477882010-06-16T21:15:00.009-04:002011-12-07T20:53:41.233-05:00West's Theology of the Body<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I assume we're all somewhat familiar with Pope John Paul II's "</span></span><a href="http://www.ewtn.com/library/papaldoc/jp2tbind.htm"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">theology of the body</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">" (expressed in his Wednesday papal audiences in the early 1980s). Christopher West, a (Catholic) speaker and writer, is perhaps its most enthusiastic and famous proponent. In early 2009, a controversy about his interpretation of JPII's theology erupted after some comments he made on TV. Although his comments were taken out of context and probably misinterpreted, it turns out that he has been making some pretty serious theological errors all along. Dawn Eden, another Catholic speaker and writer, recently exposed these errors and dissected West's interpretation for her master's thesis in theology. Find a summary of it </span></span><a href="http://dawneden.blogspot.com/2010/06/papists-pick.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">---</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">UPDATE</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">: Marcel at Aggie Catholics has responded to Dawn Eden </span></span><a href="http://marysaggies.blogspot.com/2010/06/response-to-dawn-edens-criticism-of.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> (thank you, dear commenters, for the link). I need to read more of both JPII and West for myself before I can legitimately weigh in on the questions at hand. That said, I (like Marcel) am inclined to retain my reservations about West, though I will no longer take the entirety of Eden's criticism at face value. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Open question for those who know more West's work better than I do: Does he speak or write at all about the celibacy of priests and religious? More specifically, if "</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">sexual love is the earthly key that enables us to enter into heaven's song," as West writes, then how is it possible that so many saints have been celibate? Perhaps West overemphasizes the (true) image of God as the Divine Lover at the cost of undermining other (also true) ways He reveals Himself to us: as Father, Savior, Good Shepherd, the Way, the Truth, the Life...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Anyway, on a related issue, </span></span><a href="http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/apologetics/ap0350.htm"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> is a good reflection from Peter Kreeft on sex in Heaven.</span></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-64429279121443531092010-06-04T21:12:00.004-04:002012-02-05T20:58:17.502-05:00A Very Useful PrayerI found this in a Catholic prayer book and immediately fell in love; I think everyone knows at least one person they consider a hopeless cause, and this prayer was meant for them.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">A Prayer to Our Mother of Perpetual Help<br />for the Conversion of a Sinner<br /></span><br />O Mary, Mother of Perpetual Help, thou knowest so well the great value of an immortal soul. Thou knowest what it means, that every soul has been redeemed by the Blood of thy Divine Son. Thou wilt not then despise my prayer if I ask from thee the conversion of a sinner, nay, a great sinner, who is rapidly hurrying on toward eternal ruin. Thou, O good and merciful Mother, knowest well his irregular life. Remember that thou art the Refuge of Sinners; remember that God has given thee power to bring about the conversion of even the most wretched sinners. All that has been done for his soul has been unsuccessful; if thou wilt not come to his assistance, he will go from bad to worse. Obtain for him the effectual grace that he may be moved and brought back to God and to his duties. Send him, if necessary, temporal calamities and trials, that he may enter into himself and put an end to his sinful course. Thou, O most merciful Mother, hast converted so many sinners through thine intercession, at the prayer to thee of their friends. Be then also moved by <span style="font-style: italic;">my </span>prayer, and bring this unhappy soul to true conversion of heart.<br /><div style="text-align: center;">O Mother of Perpetual Help, deign to show that thou art the Advocate and Refuge of Sinners. So I hope, so may it be. Amen.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-91369792282110555372010-06-03T23:09:00.009-04:002011-12-07T20:49:26.720-05:00Awesome Quotations (or, How to blog without thinking for yourself)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><blockquote></blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">[The following lines are excerpts from my spring and summer reading.]</span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A one-sentence definition of a Catholic from Chesterton: </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></div><blockquote><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Now a Catholic is he who has plucked up courage to face the incredible and inconceivable idea that something else may be wiser than he is.</span></span></div></blockquote><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Walker Percy on various worldviews: </span></span></div><div><blockquote><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.15in; text-indent: 0in; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This life is far too much trouble, far too strange, to arrive at the end of it and then be asked what you make of it and have to answer, 'Scientific Humanism.' That won't do. A poor show. Life is a mystery, love is a delight. Therefore, I take it as axiomatic that one should settle for nothing less than the infinite mystery and the infinite delight; i.e., God. In fact, I demand it. I refuse to settle for anything less. I don't see why anyone should settle for less than Jacob, who actually grabbed aholt of God and wouldn't let go until God identified himself and blessed him.</span></span></p></div></blockquote></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Graham Greene on man as Imago Dei:</span></span></div><div><blockquote><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">When you visualized a man or woman carefully, you could always begin to feel pity -- that was a quality God's image carried with it. When you saw the lines at the corners of the eyes, the shape of the mouth, how the hair grew, it was impossible to hate. Hate was just a failure of imagination.</span></span></div></blockquote></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">GKC on solitude:</span></span></div><div></div><blockquote><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The reason why even the normal human being should be half a hermit is that it is the only way in which his mind can have a half-holiday. It is the only way to get any fun even out of the facts of life; yes, even if the facts are games and dances and operas. It bears most resemblance to the unpacking of luggage. It has been said that we live on a railway station; many of us live in a luggage van; or wander about the world with luggage that we never unpack at all. For the best things that happen to us are those we get out of what has already happened… Now when people merely plunge from crush to crush, and from crowd to crowd, they never discover the positive joy of life.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div>------------</div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">GKC quotations are from his late essay collection </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The Well and the Shallows</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> ("My Six Conversions and "The Case for Hermits," respectively). Percy's bit appears in a mock interview of himself at the end of his essay collection </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Signposts in a Strange Land</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. Greene's sentences come from his novel </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The Power and the Glory</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. I apologize for the weird alignment here; I'm having trouble with the program.</span></span></div></div></blockquote><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.15in;text-indent:0in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list .2in left 22.5pt;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment--> </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-59521776279805539482010-05-24T18:10:00.000-04:002010-05-24T18:11:02.096-04:00score one for Steve JobsApple says no to pornography<br /><br /><a href="http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2010/may/10051811.html">get the story</a>Mary Petrides Tillotsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10927306622991856571noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8928179635367701412.post-25922927833553915642010-05-20T21:44:00.005-04:002012-02-03T21:10:43.624-05:00Rest in PeaceA local young man died in a tragic accident this week, leaving his family, friends, and community in shock. It's a small town, so even though I never knew Daniel (and from what I've learned about him since his accident, I wish I had), his death has affected me, too. I have many friends who knew him from church, and wanting to reach out to them, to share their sorrow in some small way, I wrote, "Rest in Peace, Daniel Parker" as my Facebook status.<br /><br />Daniel's church friends (my school friends) have contributed several touching comments to my status. They have expressed their sadness, prayed for his family, and told him they'd see him again soon. Their words struck me, because they seemed so...what? I can't express the exact feeling, but something was missing. And then I realized what it was. Daniel and his friends are non-denominational Protestants, and they don't believe in prayers for the dead. Ultimately, they can comfort his family, but there is nothing they can do for him. It's a very helpless position, it seems to me.<br /><br />Of course, everyone feels helpless when confronted with death. It's life's one certainty, one of the few mysteries left unsolved. No one knows what it's like, why it happens when it does, or what we can do about it. As Catholics, however, there <span style="font-style: italic;">is </span>something we can "do" about it. We cannot prevent death, but we <span style="font-style: italic;">can </span>pray for departed souls. What an incredible, beautiful blessing! Until reading my friends' Facebook comments, I never thought about how great a gift this is. A person's earthly life is beyond the reach of our help, but his soul is not. We, the living, are still an important apart of the soul's journey, because we are linked to our loved one and every other member of the communion of saints. We are not helpless, and the soul is not without help. In the eyes of Catholics, "rest in peace" becomes more than a wish or a comfort; it becomes a prayer. And so, with that in mind, let's pray for the repose of souls. Rest in Peace, Daniel Parker.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1